Competitive Cat Petting

“Lamont!” said Patchtricia, sneaking up on her brother, and gathering momentum said, “I have a complaint I want to make to you.”

“My goodness wee sister. Whatever, complaint could you possibly have against me?”

“You,” Patch said drawing herself up to her full catness, “You, you get far more petting than I do. You even get more petting that Pawline, and she gets more that I do.”

Pointing her ears upward Paw said with a sniff, “Well, I agree that Lamont gets more petting than we do, but do you really think you think I get more petting than you do Patch?”

“Absolutely,” continued Patch, “you push your bulky self between me and the furless ones all the time to get more petting. Sometimes you even knock me on my wee butt, to get those pets.”

“Sisters, sister,” injected Lamant, “wait a minute here. I may seem to get more petting because I am always first to the door when a furless one comes to our door here in the Schacteau. That’s is just me being friendly to our furless servants. And, always after petting me they pet you. In fact, sometimes they even have to go looking for you to pet you. Especially you Patch, you are often lying on slightly hidden in one of your many resting places. I think we all get petting equally.”

“Wait a minute here Patch,” interrupted Paw, “I push in, I push you out of the way for additional petting? I’m just showing I am very affectionate, to our furless servants and what to make sure they know just how much I love them. That’s not pushy, that’s genuine unrestrained affection.”

“It’s still pushy!” said Patch with a little hiss.

“Ladies, ladies, please,” interjected Lamont, “We all love our furless servants, we all want to show our affection to them, and we all love to be petted. Let’s not lower ourselves into competitive petting but just remember why we like to be petting.”

“Well,” sighed Patch, “we all do get along together so well, and all that petting is nice. I also realize I can be a bit standoffish at times as well. It’s funny, we seem we like that petting way more than we used to.”

“Yes,” added Paw, “It does seem like we just used to put up with the petting because the furless ones seem to what to pet us so much, so we accepted it as part of the ritual of getting the goodies they give us. Now, we seem to like getting petted even more that we like food.”

“True, and well said,” added Lamont, “We all want our petting first, then some food, especially when we get that gourmet gravy in the evening. Then we look for more petting before even beginning eating our meal. Then, we gather happily around the whiskerless furless one when she sits down and gets the brush. Ummm, the brush.”

“Oh yes, the brush,” Paw with an inadvertent purr. “I like, I think we all like the brush best of all. Down our backs it goes and our backs automatically rise to the occasion. Then down our sides, most pleasant. I particularly like the head, top and side brushing they do. It does rev up the old purring motor.”

“Indeed,” added Patch, “and your purring motor can be heard in three counties. And the tummy rubs, don’t forget the tummy rubs’ our feet seem to automatically stick straight up in the air when we get those tummy rubs. Yum!”

“I love them too, “said, Lamont, “Though I have to admit it is hard for me not to grab them in a hug with they rub my tummy and sometimes my claws come out and I accidentally scratch them. I don’t mean to, it just happens sometimes.

“Yes indeed,” all three said in unison, “We love that petting. We have good petting furless servants. They are to be commended.” And all began to purr.

However, very quietly beneath their purring motors you could hear the sisters mutter, “but I still think the whiskered furless one still likes Lamont best.”