“I have studied
many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” ~ Hippolyte
Taine
Lamont assumed his lecturing position atop the step thing and spoke
to his sisters Patchtricia and Pawline sitting with rapt attention below,
except for frequent grooming of theirselves and each other. Or, in other words
they put up with their pontificating brother.
“I have been studying cat history some more at night while the
whiskered furless servant, Oooo, is away. We cats seemed to have been first
recognized for our importance in ancient Egypt as I have mentioned before.
“The Egyptians believed that their main god, Ra, died at sunset and
went to the underworld to be reborn each morning in the East. Lions, our bigger
cousins, would look into the setting sun and keep the sun’s ray it their eyes,
as we modern cats have eyes that reflect in the dark. That light would enable
them to go out at night and kill the evil serpents. Thus we see the importance
of the Sphinx who immortalized we cats in ancient Egypt.
“These Egyptians also worshipped Sekhmet a goddess with the head of a lion, she was the goddess of
war. They also worshipped Mau as a
personification of Ra. Mau, by the way is the Egyptian word for cat.” His
sisters eyed him with some interest at this point and then resumed their
grooming.
Sekhmet
“Now I could go out with other cat related dieties such as Tefnut and Mafdet but let me move
directly to the great Bast, a domestic cat such as
ourselves, the daughter of Ra and protector of cats and those who took care of
us. There was an annual festival in her name in Bubastis, a very popular
festival I might add, where hundreds of mummified cats were buried.
Bast
Lamont scholarly continued to his somewhat rapt students and
siblings, “In Egypt children were often consecrated to Bastet when a cut was
made on their arm and a few drops of cat blood were poured into it. There is
one of these in Tutankhamen’s tomb.
“All of this has led me to wonder if we should require our furless
servants to worship us? They certainly seem to pay us fair homage, so perhaps
that will do.
“Oh yes, have you noticed my sisters, that watching furless ones of
TV, they seem to emulate we cats with their makeup. Again, in ancient Egypt the
women believed the ideal beauty was the beauty of a cat and used makeup to make
themselves have a more mysterious cat-like look.”
Paw and Patch looked up at their brother quizzically. “Really, our
unwhiskered furless one does not seem to do that. But as you say there are a
lot of commercials where the females do seem very cat-like in their makeup.
Feathering or smokey eyes seems a bit catlike. Eva Mendes definitely looks
cat-like.”
Eva Mendes
“Ah, my dear sisters, you are beginning to see. There is even a
website I have found that teaches these furless females how to make cat-like
make up; and several sites such as these: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/hairstyles-beauty/skin-care-makeup/how-to-get-cat-eyes#slide-1, http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Your-Makeup-Like-Cat-Valentine,
http://www.maybelline.com/makeup-looks/Night-Out/Cat-Eyes-Lesson.aspx,
http://www.maybelline.com/makeup-looks/Night-Out/Cat-Eyes-Lesson.aspx,
well the list goes on and on.”
“My oh my,” chimed in Patch, “these female furless do seem to like
the cat look. They almost look whiskered.”
“Well, dear sisters, that concludes my lecture for today. You may
look forward to our importance in Norwegian culture, witches affinity to cats,
Islamic attention to cats, the Burmese cat legends, as well as Siamese,
Malaysiand, Japanese, Ngariman and Australian cat lore. There is also be a bit
on our relation to clouds and I think you may be particularly intrigued the our
part in Noah’s ark.”
Paw’s and Patch’s eyes widened for a moment, then they rolled over
and took a nap. With a condescending look from atop his perch, Lamont laid down
for a nap himself. Lecturing is hard business.
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