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Friday, July 5, 2013

The Naming of Cats

Thanks to my brother Bill for this bit from T.S. Eliot's book of poems Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats. There are a great many poems in this tomb, but I will begin by sharing the first one entitled, The Naming of Cats, which is where our trouble began with my wife Doreen naming 3 feral cats.

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
                  It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
                  Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
                  All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
                  Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
                  But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
                  A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
                  Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
                  Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
                  Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
                  And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
                  But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
                  The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
                  Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
                                    His ineffable effable
                                    Effanineffable

Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

And thus we wonder what Shadow's, Paw's Patch's or Patchtricia's Pawline's and Lamont Cranston's real cats names are.

2 comments:

  1. An interesting subject: from what I gather, Winston has climbed to #7 for most popular cat name-Thor and Zeus are also right up there. Our's were Tiger, Gabby, Raffy and Mikey over the years: carefully named by their youthful owners. We have grandcats named Charlemagne
    (usually shortened to Charlie, Gracie and Fiona.
    A sister in-law spent $3500 on cat surgery and named the feline patient J. Paul Kitty. A gray
    neighbor's barn cat is simply called "Kat". None
    of these answered to their names, of course, but came running to "Here, kitty-kitty".

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  2. Our favorite cat from my youth was named Stamper inspired by Lady McBeth's speak, "Make that damned can quit stamping around here." She was abandoned by her mother at birth, our dachshund, who had never had puppies, adopted her developed milk and raised her. She was our best mouser on the farm.

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