I Stand/Sit for Regulated Toilet Seats

At a Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Ted Cruz says the federal government thinks it has “authority to regulate our toilet seats.”  PolitiFact says he is right.

Well, I for one want to go on record as favoring regulated toilet seats. Who in the right mind would want a bunch of unregulated toilet seats running amok in the nations bathrooms doing untold damage to our nations behinds? Stop such atrocities now! If you think waterboarding was bad, think about an out of control toilet seat. It makes my heart flush just to things of such unbridled madness.

Lamont, excuse me, Shadow agreed as he just strolled in front of monitor. He is a very smart cat though he prefers litter boxes himself, he does have human standard ideals.

Now I would not go as far as Cruz in saying this is a significant reason why we have $16.5 trillion in debts. But for the sake of future generations gluteus maximi I maintain this is a worthwhile cost for a civilized nation. If light blubs can be regulated, and they should, certainly toilet seats should be regulated.

In spite of the great horseshoe toilet seat scandal of the 1970s I stand my ground, or rather sit above it in safety. For the sake of historical accuracy one should note that the shape of toilet seats has not been regulated since the 1980’s. We’re not extremists here.

 

If it is good for the French (this model), it's good enoughtfor us.

If the 10^th amendment stands against regulated toilets seats then in should be struck down in the name of common decency. May all those unregulated toilets seats rise up and smack Cruz on his unregulated ass.

What’s next unregulated toothbrushes or hand soap and heaven know what?

Addendum, if Paul Ryan's budget passes perhaps only the rich will be able to afford toilets, let alone seats anyway.