In my home town there
was a fella named Bloviating Ignoramus. We just called him Blo or The
Ignoramus. Now Blo owned, along with the banks a good deal of the high end real
estate around town. He cut a dashing figure about town, a big guy frequently
seen at The Ignoramus Golf Course talking and talking and talking. He was
distinguished looking if a bit odd. He was totally bald except for one hair
that was approximately 300 feet long that he coiled around his head and fixed
it in place with super glue. He married well and often. He was a outstanding
athlete in his own mind. The Ignoramus even hosted a TV show on the local cable
channel called, “Up Your Nose with a Rubber Hose
Blo liked to walk
around town yelling at people “You’re tired!” At least that is what we thought
he was saying; but then a lot of things The Ignoramus said, didn’t make much
sense. Blo didn’t attend any church, he figured self worship was enough
spiritual enrichment for himself.
The leading local
conservative, Willy George, didn’t like Blo messing around in people’s business
and expressing silly things so he call him a Tone Deaf Trumpeter Swan. The
Ignoramus will likely sue him; he likes to sue people. This particular piece of
acrimony followed Blo calling the town mayor an alien from outer space and a
commie. Despite knowing the mayors earthling parents, The Ignoramus likes to
say this every now and then; it used to be funny.
The Ignoramus also
likes to gather all the pretty girls in town and rate them. One pretty piece of
pulchritude said he had unfair raters and quit in a huff. The Ignoramus is
suing her too.
Rumor has it that soon
he will be suing the author of this blog and all who read it. So, be
forewarned.
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