”Hey Patch and Paw,” meowed Lamont, “come here. You’ve got to see
this.”
Patch and Paw wandered into the laundry room where Lamont was
standing on the dryer looking out the window. “Gee, this place is a mess,” said
Paw.
“Yeah, said Patch, “and what’s with these buckets in the closet?
Ooh what a pig sty.”
“Oh,” said Lamont, “the buckets are there to catch the water
dripping from the upper part of the closet door. See, I knocked one over so you
can see it better. I think that is why Meugh is outdoors. You’ve just got to
see what he’s doing.”
Peering around each other the cats tried to observe Meugh. “What
are those metal things,” asked Paw?
“They are ladders. One is a step ladder, which apparently wasn’t tall
enough for Meugh, so he got a second ladder called an extension ladder.”
“What for?” asked Paw.
“As near as I can figure,” replied Lamont, “it has something to do
with the water dripping into the buckets. Look, see him toss hunks of ice off
the roof. Also there is water dripping off to roof as well. I think it is
called an ‘ice jam.’”
“Okay, what are those white hockey pucks he’s tossing of the roof,”
asked Patch?
“Those are called ‘roof melt’,” answered Lamont. “Read the bucket
they are in. He is tossing them up on the roof apparently to melt the ice. A
little bit ago he lugged up 50 pounds of rock salt to do the same thing.”
“Look at him go up the extension ladder with a small axe and the
box of roof melt,” said Lamont. “Holy Mother of Cats, the ladder is slipping
down the roof with Meugh flailing away. Oh, it stopped. From the reflection on
the window on the Schacteau I think I can deduce why. His arm is stuck between
the ladder and the roof, stopping the ladder, which is now at a very sharp angle.
I wonder what he’s doing to do now.”
All cats peered out the window and the reflections and saw Meugh
slowly pull his arm out from under the ladder and then slowly, very slowly and
cautiously creep down the ladder.
“Wow! He made it!” exclaimed Patch. “I thought he was a gonner for
sure on that maneuver. “Now what’s he doing?”
“For heaven’s sake,” mutter Patch, “He’s putting the extension
ladder back up on the roof again. And the deck is very slippery with melted
snow and water.”
“Why,” exclaimed Paw?
“Seems obvious to me,” said Lamont, “He’s going up again. Yep, he
checked the rubber feet on the ladder and now he’s going up again with his axe
and roof melt. I don’t like the looks of this.”
“Oh no,” cried Patch, “the ladder fell down again, all the way this
time. Splat! Where’s Meugh?”
“Well,” explained Lamont, “as you might expect, he didn’t levitate,
he came down with it. Look he’s laying right on top of the ladder.”
“He seems very quiet,” continue Paw. “As a matter of fact he
doesn’t seem to be moving, just laying there. Seems like a funny time to take a
nap.”
“He moved,” holler Patch. “Not much but he moved. His mouth seems
to be moving more. I think I’m glad I can’t hear what he saying. He’s rolling
off the ladder. He’s up on one knee…now on both knees and both hands. I think
he’s trying to stand…yep…oh good he made it. Meugh is upright, but he looks
funny and seems to be holding and touching various parts of his anatomy.”
“I don’t believe it, and really don’t believe it,” gasped Lamont.
“I always thought Meugh was pretty smart but he’s putting both ladders up
again. Surely not, he couldn’t”
“Yes he is,” said Patch, “He’s going back up the step ladder this
time. That’s an improvement anyway and he is tossing more white hockey pucks;
what did you call it, oh roof melt, on the ice.”
“Ah, he’s coming down again,” Paw added. “Coming down pretty
slowly, but he’s coming down. He’s walking around a bit, but he seems to be
limping, limping with both legs. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.
There he goes into the house. I think it would be prudent not to get too close
to him right now.”
“Right,” exclaimed Patch and Paw in unison.
“I wonder if he is going to see Mewreen,” pondered Paw.
“I would imagine,” replied Lamont. “He likely needs to check on her
broken foot.”
“You know,” inquired Patch, “I wonder if you can get human servant
insurance. I’m beginning to wonder about those two. They’re not exactly spring
chickens. You’d think they would take better care of themselves so they can
take care of us.”
“You know it is supposed to be warmer tomorrow, about 40 degrees,
like today, “said Lamont. “Do you suppose he’ll be up there again whacking at
the ice? And then it supposed to get cold and snowy and icy again. Surely he
won’t go up there again.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” said Paw with a knowing cat yawn.
“Humans, go figure.”
Cat Story Addendum (accent on Dum)
While Meugh was sleeping Lamont came up to him and whispered in his ear, "You know Meugh, there is a washer and a dryer about 10 to fifteen feet from you ice jam. If you'd attach a hose to the washer hot water tap, you could wash that pile of ice down fairly quickly and not destroy your body in the process." Hugh awoke in a zombie like trance state a bit later and went downstairs and got a hose and connected it to the hot water tap to the washer. Our ice jam is now floating down the street following a curious but effective path. It's good to have a smart cat in the house. I'm sure he will wake up soon and wonder where that ice went.
The Shadow knows!
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