Oily Fracking

In my hometown lived a fella who was a bit of a daredevil, named Oily Fracking. Frankin, as we called him, was a creative sort always trying new things to make a buck, but his frontal lobe (the brain’s governor) was a bit limited. He was a major risk taker but also lacked a bit of common sense. His  best friend was Everett Paul Anchor; we called him EPA for short. EPA was a very responsible guy, and though he really like his friend Frankin’, he also viewed him as a loose cannon that you had to keep a careful eye upon.

For instance, Frackin came up with an idea to create methane to run his farm. Frackin started feed his cattle a diet of mainly beans and other legumes know to produce gas. One day all the cows were in the barn at one time eating the legumes and as luck we have it their internal pressure built up at the same time and let loose all at the same time as well recording the world foremost cattle fart. It was amazing. It blew all the barn doors off, and the smell; well, It was beyond description. Unfortunately a stranger on the edge of town chose to light up a cigarette at the moment. The ensuing fireball caused an emergency meeting of the First Fundamentalist Church in town to talk about the 2nd coming, very soon. 


 EPA told his buddy Frackin, “what on earth were you thinking?” Frackin replied, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” EPA then explained to his friend, perhaps you could have tried this out on one cow first. But that’s not the way Frackin operated.

And that’s the way it went in my hometown. Frackin continually tried wild and strange ideas without a clue as to whether they were dangerous or not, he just thought of making a buck. EPA was always at him, to test things out as to their danger to him and others. But Frankin was Frackin and few expect he’ll ever change his ways. EPA was a lot smarter and more responsible, but folk complained more about him as a wet blanket for some reason. Go figure.

[Inspired by Truthout’s blog, EPA links Tainted Water in Wyoming to Hydraulic Fracturing for Natural Gas.]