I Don't Get It!

There are lot’s of things I don’t get. Here are some.

Why is Jerry Seinfeld funny. He has an annoying voice, uses mean condescending humor and is regarded as a comic Genius. I don’t get it. (But then I didn’t get “Friends” either. Perhaps it is olditis.)

Why don’t we fix the health system. Most people want universal health care. It is proven more efficient in countries that use it. The current system is an enormous drag upon the economy. I don’t get it.

Why do women fall in love with bad boys, seek to change them, and when it doesn’t work divorce them. I don’t get it.

Why don’t folk see that supply side economics (a.k.a. trickle down economics) doesn’t work. It hasn't worked for 35 years and yet folk who have not benefited by it still support it. They would have $13,000 more in their pockets it we went back to proven demand side economics. I don’t get it.

Why are there thousands of channels available on TV and you can’t find one of them worth watching? And why did the FCC allow so damned many commercials to be shown each half hour? I don’t get it.

Why is “intelligent design” called intelligent design, when it’s stupid? I don’t get it.

Why don’t we mourn Veterans Day rather than celebrate it? They died because as a race we’re so damned stupid we can’t solve our differences sensibly? And then why after praising soldiers, and we should, don’t we take care of them adequately when they come home? I don’t get it.

Why is the happiest nation in the world Sweden when they live in an inhospitable climate and pay over 50% taxes. Actually, I get that, they have a better value system and take care of each other.

Why do you need a bar at a shooting range? Seems like a recipe for disaster. And does any hunter need an automatic weapon or a bazooka? I don’t get it.

Why do we get all excited about subsidizing education, public broadcasting, social security, medicare, Medicaid etc. and not blink an eye about subsidizing professional sports programs, and corporations with tax breaks. I don’t get it?

Why is it legal for banks to bet on the the folk the lend to going broke? I don’t get it.

Why does almost the entire food industry underpay and give no benefits for their workers, so the live in poverty and can’t afford to eat out? Except at fast food places which destroy their health. I don’t get it.

Why does anyone live in the north during the winter? Sadomasochists? I don’t get it.

Why do folk think it is more moral to get up early? I don’t get it.

Why do we applaud folk who fanatically work themselves to death? I don’t get it.

Following the moral and economics failings of Wall Street why do the majority of folk want to privatize social security? I don’t get it.

Why have we allowed our country to become an oligarchy of the rich? I don’t get it.

Why do mommy’s and daddy’s love their children? Well, maybe I get that one, sometimes.

Why is it improper to fart in public but to insult people without compunction? I don’t get it.

Why do folk go to football games and freeze their butts of when they can see better at home and stay warm? And why are we a nation of such sports fanatics and so sedentary and obese? Or why do people cheer at ball games and remain quiet in church? I don’t get it.

Why do I love playing golf, which I do poorly and write blogs? Why didn’t I finish the book I had two thirds done? I don’t get it.

Why do dogs give us undying affection no matter how we treat them? I don’t get it.

Why do we put down animals when they suffer and keep humans alive when they want to go see God? I don’t get it.

Why do we think the entire world is governed by cause and effect except for ourselves? I don’t get it.

Why do we laugh at others people’s pain? i.e. the Three Stooges and my wife seeing me fall on my ass. I don’t get it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t get it.

Who cares if a tree falls in the woods and makes noise or not if not one is there to hear it? I don’t get it.

What do we think baby faces covered with gunk is adorable? Yuck! I don’t get it.

Why do women complain that men don’t put the toilet seat down and they don’t put the lid down (especially if it is under the medicine chest) when essentially both just do their business and leave without a thought about anyone else. I don’t get it.

Why is it necessary to teach MBA’s etc business ethics? Didn’t they have parents? I don’t get it.

Why do we introduce ourselves by telling each other what we do or did to make money? I don’t get it.

Why do we feel dumber the more learn and the older we get? I don’t get it.

Why do we distrust smart people? I don’t get it.

Why would pigs want to fly? I don’t get it.

How could hell possibly freeze over if hell is the absence of God and God is the creator of all; therefore hell doesn’t even exist? I don’t get it.

Why do some evangelists want to scare people into believing? Isn’t that anti-good news? I don’t get it.

Why are men from Mars and women from Venus; what’s wrong with Uranus and Neptune or Kepler 22b? I don’t get it. (Do you suppose Jesus retired to Kepler 22b?)

If we are so against illegal immigrants, why don’t we all throw ourselves out except the Native Americans? I don’t get it. And do you suppose the places where we or our ancestors came from would let us back in?

Do you think our frontal lobes where our moral compasses reside are shrinking?

Why don’t were hear Mort Saul’s comedy anymore? This political age seems made for him. I don’t get it.

Is Betty White right when she says we don’t have as many daytime quiz shows is because we just lack general knowledge nowadays? Or, we don’t get it.

If you have, why have you read so many of these speculations? I don’t get it.

Finally, why does God seem so head over heels in love with us, when we seem to spit in God’s eye? I don’t get it, but I am thankful for it.