The Drennan Dungeon

“Sisters! Sisters!” Exclaimed an excited Lamont, “I have a very important discovery to tell you.”

“Settle down for Pete’s sake,” said Patch, “You’ll give yourself a catatack. Just what have you discovered.”

“Who’s Pete?” said Paw, “Is he that country cat that came to visit? No, that was Zeke I think. Never mind, what is this discovery?”

“You absolutely won’t believe it,” continued Lamont animatedly, “You know how large this place is compared to the Shackteau.”

“Yes, yes, it is very big,” replied Patch, “but we’re used to it by now. In fact, we like it being big. We can run and run and chase each other like mad up and downstairs and through the hallways and rooms. Mewreen thinks we sound like elephants bounding about. Indeed it is very big, at least in our experience.”

“Well, said Lamont,” with great gravity in his voice. It’s even bigger than what we thought. I found an entirely new floor!”

“A whole new floor,” remarked Paw. “Perhaps we’re living in a castle or a place like Downton Abby. Seems fitting, except our staff is only Mewreen and Meugh.

“The new floor I found is very very scary,” gushed Lamont. “It may be the castle dungeon.”

“A dungeon,” asked Patch. “One of those places where they chain up humans or even cats and torture them. Places where dragons sometimes dwell? That type of Dungeon? Surely you must be wrong.”

“No no,” exclaimed Lamont. “Last night when our servants were looking for us – I think it was brushing time – Mewreen kept telling Meugh that she couldn’t find me and that I was crying somewhere.”

“She’s always saying one or the other of us is crying,” said Paw. “She can’t tell one cat meow from another. She has absolutely no aptitude for Cantonese. She’s like the little boy who cried ‘wolf’ all the time.”

“Well, in this case she was nearly right,” Lamont went on. “Of course I wasn’t crying, not a cat of great adventures like me. But I was indeed in dire straights and fearful for my wellbeing. I was trapped in the dungeon.”

“Oh my,” that would be scary said Paw, “that would make me cry. What happened? How did you get trapped in the dungeon?”

“Well,” Lamont said, “you know that door off the kitchen where Meugh disappears behind periodically.”

“Oh yes,” said Patch, “sometimes weird noises like running motors and other weird sounds emit from there; frightening sounds, But generally he comes back right away with a bottle of wine of human food stuff.”

“Weird sounds is right and now I know why,” continued Lamont. “That door was a bit ajar and curiosity got the better of me, so I pulled it open, entered and went down steep stairs. On one wall are all types of implements of destruction and in other areas their motorized torture devises like saws, all kinds of saws, routers, drills and the like. Very very scary.”

Implements of torture

“Oh my!” said Patch.

“And there I was in the dark in that cold dungeon surrounded by all these evil things all by myself,” said Lamont. “So I meowed and meowed; meows of alarm.”

“We heard,” said Paw. “So did Mureen as well but Meugh said he couldn’t hear a thing even as he walked up and down the stairs and from room to room searching for you.”

“He’s deaf as a post you know, especially when we hide his hearing aids which are great fun to play with. And, he wasn’t wearing them.”

“Well,” continued Lamont, “eventually Meugh opened that door to the dungeon, looked down the stairs and saw me in my distress. He called and I came right up those steps and we all had a good cuddle. Cat curiosity does have its dangers but fortunately this turned out okay.”

Dungeon Steps

“Goodness,” exclaimed Patch, “I hope you have learned your lesson and don’t sneak down into the dungeon again.”

“No,” said Lamont. But after a short pause he said, “Maybe.”