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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Cats and Christmas

“Did you see Meugh running around here in the Shackteau the other day stomping his foot, grumping and mumbling and carrying on something fierce?” Asked Lamont.

“How could we not,” said Pawline. “He practically scared poor little Patchtricia to death sending her to one of her cowering spots.”

“Well, he was certainly frightful. Any sensible cat would get out of his way and put her paws over her ears and hide,” replied Patch.

“What was that all about anyway,” as Paw?

“I believe this is more or less an annual event for our normally well behaved furless servant Meugh. It has to do, I believe, with Christmas or more accurately the Christmas season,” said Lamont.


“Christmas, what’s that,” asked Patch?

“Good grief girl friend, “ said Paw. “Haven’t you been listening to the TV at all? It is time when the purveyor of goods sell stuff to people all over the country and make most of their money for the year. They’re ads on TV constantly hawking something or another that apparently everyone needs desperately to celebrate Christmas. It is the time of year when most all the furless beings bow down to crass materialism and show their love or obligation to each other by buying them gifts to appease their materialistic nature.”


“My goodness Paw,” said Lamont, “that was most eloquent and precise. For a cat that is most interested in her food bowl and getting her coat brushed that was most well put. Congratulations.”

Paw made a small “phift!” at this point.

“But I believe I can give a better and more complete analysis of our furless Meugh’s behavior,” said Lamont.

Paw and Patch’s eyes roll.

Ignoring the eyerolls, Lamont leapt to his high perch on the step thingy and continued his allocution. “If you had listened closely you would have heard what Meugh was mumbling and grumbling, that being, ‘Christmas Smistmas, this is not the Christmas season, it is Advent you idiotic running dog capitalists.’


“You see our furless servant Meugh is a pastor, even though he is not pastoring at the moment actively. As such he is very cognizant of the liturgical year in Christianity. And he is right, this is not the Christmas season but the Advent season. Christmas is the period of time between Christmas and Epiphany as well pointing out in one of the songs we hear, ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ an old English Christmas Carol.

“However, though most folk in the country who claim to be Christians may or may not know this they have made this a great time of entrepreneurship, using it as a time to encourage and practice gross materialism. That is what drives our furless servant a bit whacky this time of year.”



“Wow!” said Patch, “You got all that from his mumbles and grumbles? Impressive.”

“Wait a minute,” injected Paw, “Don’t we see him on the computer ordering Christmas gifts and don’t Meugh and Mewreen often take off on Christmas shopping trips this time of year?”

“True,” acknowledged Lamont. “They do seem to be caught up in the secular holiday as well as others. In fact, Meugh does not seem to be that interested in when Christmas is celebrated. Though most celebrate it on December 25th, they will be celebrating it with some of their family on December 14th, with others on the traditional date, and others whenever.

“You see, nobody really know when Christmas is supposed to be. Christmas is really a birthday party, a celebration of when Jesus was born in Galilee years and years ago. However, nobody knows when exactly he was born. Early Christians decided to put it in December to fight the secular celebration of the winter solstice. They missed that by a few days as well.

“In fact, I have heard Meugh argue, that it would be much better to celebrate Christmas in the summer time, when it is nice and warm and folk wouldn’t have to worry about travel in bad weather.”

“I wonder if they are going to get us Christmas/birthday presents,” asked Patch? 

"And extra catnip," added Paw.


“Me-ow,” said Lamont as he climbed down from the step thingy.


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