Cats, Dog, and Human Beings

Lamont leapt deftly to the top level of the step thinky and began to address his sisters, Pawline and Patchtricia. “Dear sisters,” he began. “The other day I promised you a lecture on the basic natures of furless and furred beings. I am now prepared to share that address with you.”

Paw and Patch dutifully if not happily took up positions in front of the fireplace and prepared themselves to listen attentively to their brother.

“To begin this oration I think I will begin with a fellow furred creature who often share furless beings house with, dogs, “began Lamont. His sisters both rotated their ears toward their brother with true interest at this novel beginning. “Dogs, it appears to me are for the most part pure souls who seem totally devoted to their furless owners. In fact, they seem down right dotty about their devotion. They typically jump up and down, barking, and getting overly excited at the sight of their furless owners, and I use the word “owners” advisedly in this case. They lick and slobber all over them and will perform ridiculous tricks to please their owners. And if the have a baby furless being they seem totally devoted to them and will do anything and put up with anything to keep these poor little helpless creature happy. It is no wonder that many furless beings prefer dogs over cats and other creatures they call pets. It does not speak well of either dogs or their owners.

“On the other hand, we cats understand the relationship between ourselves and our servant furless critters. Oh, like dogs, we will rub up against them, purr when the pet us, and are generally affectionate with them, because we know it is for our mutual benefit. But our human servants also know full well that in the midst of all this mutual affection we can just walk off and ignore them and spend most of our times in personal grooming and reflection. They also know that they had better be careful as we may attack them at anytime without warning with our razor like claws. We do not judge ourselves harshly for this behavior, it is just our playful nature we exhibit when we play with each other, and we forget how fragile the furless ones are. Besides, we just get bored with them when other things strike our mind.

“Our human servant counterparts are not unlike ourselves. They have selfish reasons for wanting as “pets” because we entertain them, show them affection when we feel affectionate and the like. They are like that as well. They find great enjoyment in playing with us, and hearing our purrs, but they can also get bored and leave us, often for long periods of time. In fact, they can get annoyed with us. For instance, Meugh seems downright bothered when I walk in front of his computer screen and on his keyboard when he is doing things on it. I rather like seeing his reaction, which is why I do it with some regularity.

“I also am perfectly cognizant of both cats and furless ones that are downright evil in their behavior. I know cats that will kill their own and are just downright belligerent toward all furless beings. I believe this is because of early traumatic incidents in their lives. I think the same is true of furless ones who can be incredibly cruel to other creatures. They may kick dogs and the dogs often come slinking back to get kicked some more. We cats won’t put up with such behavior if at all possible. We are just tougher than dogs as any dog who has had his ass kicked by a cat knows. I also know there are furless one who go out and shoot furred critters for fun. Now we will kill, for necessity when we live outside or because our furless ones want mice eradicated. That is why we often bring these critters to them when we have done them in as presents and signs of our affection for them. And, we will play, sometimes roughly with critters like mice or bugs because they intrigue us and sometimes we get carried away with the play and they die.

“In conclusion dear sisters, I find the cat and furless servants behavior and natures are quite similar. We serve our own interests but we also have the capacity of affection between our two species. We can even be affection with other species such as dogs if it fits our fancy. Dogs on the other hand…go figure as to why they act as they do; they appear a bit simple.

“I suspect that some human beings prefer dogs over cats because dogs allow them to feel godlike as the stupidly affection dogs idolize them. This is not a good thing, they would be far better off with similar natured creatures such as us. Unfortunately not of furless servants are as enlightened to understand our similar nature. Either than or they are just too self-centered.”

With that said Lamont descended from his lecturing position and curled up with his sisters in their respective place for naps.