Do We have a Multiple Party System?

In my home town we have Democratic and Republican parties. I suppose that is no surprise. But I think that really does not adequately describe the political system in my hometown. In the southern part of town are democrats but not really. They are the gun toting, don’t mess with my stuff democrats that generally vote for the democratic candidate; they talk with a south of highway 6 drawl. Then there are the liberal democrats that want really good schools, they want to take care of the poor, and they even go so far to think that every citizen in my hometown is entitled to reasonable good health care just because they live there. There are other democrats that are democrats because their families have always been democrats. Plus there are a few more that fall under the general category but really are different parties

There are even more that call themselves Republicans. There are the Republicans that just want to vote no. Their hero was congressman H.R. Gross who had the most consistent voting record in the House of Representatives, he always voted “no!” (Charles Grassley holds that seat now); Doesn’t make any difference what the issue is, they just vote no upholding that great tradition of bein’ agin it. Other Republicans want to make sure the government doesn’t mess with their business. There Republicans will run for the school board just to keep property taxes down and don’t think you should molly coddle kids, just give them the three R’s whatever they are. Some Republicans are really just anarchists in disguise; they don’t want any government at all. There are Republicans because all their daddies and mommas have been Republicans and they don’t want them spinning in their graves. There are also some Republicans who just like to condemn lazy people for being lazy, poor people for being poor etc. Again, there more groups that call themselves Republicans, but really are different parties, even more than the democrats.

There are some folk in town who call themselves independents and whatever candidates cater the best to their vested interests they will vote for them. They tend to think of themselves as more objective and intelligent. Their detractors just say they lack commitment and don’t understand the importance of political platforms. My uncle Mortimer would tell them to do their business or get of the pot; at least that how he said it after he got hoity toity religion.

We say we have a two party system but we really don’t. We really have a multiple party system that makes coalitions where their common interests meet; beside they don’t like to think they are anything like the French and their multitude of parties. So, some folk get aligned in certain ways that they can call themselves one or the other.

Currently none of these multiple parties are agreeing on anything except that they are mad and a lot of them are taking their anger out on the mayor who inherited most of his problems from the previous mayor. Thank God, folk in my hometown don’t have a militia with which to wage a war. Oh, I guess is there a party that wants to do that but the hide out in each other basements and collect weapons. One claimed he brought down a 35 point buck last year with a bazooka. They formed their own lobby group entitled “? The Local Armed and Dingy Group.”

On the north end of town, in a rustic house set back in a small woods is a fella that most folk would be hard pressed to even know his name, nor do they know what his politics are. But he is filthy rich, a subtle arm twister, and has a lot of people who owe him and somehow whoever he wants to get elected gets elected. He has never ever paid any taxes himself, but somehow the local government is always giving him things he wants and funding projects from which he benefits. In essence he bought most of the town’s government over 30 years ago but nobody noticed.

That’s the way politics work in my hometown, a mystical maze which few ever find their way through.