100 Mile Garage Sale

How to spend Mother’s Day, participate in the 100 mile garage sale. For those who are blissfully unaware of this event, it is an annual event where crazed bargain hunters from all over the bloody country descent to this area to seek out the junk other folk have so they and make it part of their collection of junk. For the past few years it has become a family tradition.

This year Anne, Jay and Laurie (if you don’t know who I’m talking about refer to an early post described the family,) came for the unblessed event. We start this madness way before God gets up (that’s 9 a.m. in case you didn’t know.) Fortunately, the most thoughtful person in the world, Anne, brought dinky donuts, so I was reasonably happy for that part of the day. Doreen, recovering from her back surgery, and the girls take off in one vehicle while Jay and I depart in another. Of course marvelous treasures were found at bargain prices and stuffed in the respective vehicles. Fortunately one of them was not the biggest Moose head I’ve ever seen, who seems quite happy considering he was dead and his head was hanging on a garage wall having been demoted from the house. Why don’t we do that with our departed family members, such thoughtful reminders; but I digress.

Now important things were found, namely four putters. Anne found the first, think I found a couple and Jay found another on the second day when he soloed it. I’ve turned ond into a belly putter (Anne’s finding), painted another white as I have done with my driver, and three hybrid clubs. [White is the new in color in golf clubs with Taylormade Drivers going for about $400 (I turned my old driver white for $4.58 of Krylon paint from Wal-Mart; cheaper that way and folk are duly impressed if they don’t look too closely. I have shortened the one Jay found to a size the meets my stature and added a oversize grip. It will be the one in my bag for now. All golfers seem to have multiple putters in their garages, however each one theirs cost approximate 100 times or more the price of all of mine together. I think that must make me 100 times smarter if not a better golfer. I mean, after all, it’s a stick attacked to a flat thing.

Now all of this was followed by another dubious family tradition where we make mint juleps and watch and bet on the running of the Kentucky Derby. Our bets were placed in a container last year as no one won, and now it has more money in it as no one picked the winner this year either. Then the family flees and Doreen and I lapse into commas.

On Monday Doreen had a follow-up visitation with Gunderson Hospital about her surgery. Splendid report but they instructed her to quit the Scottish tradition of tossing poles, she’s limited to 10 pound lifts. Her scar is ugly but healthy and she is feeling better. Good news as within the month I expect her to be back adhering to my every beck and call.

It’s a beautiful day outside so I should go mow the lawn for the first time unless I can figure out something of greater urgency, such as scratching my left ear.